The Way I Feel When Technology Breaks, Like Last Night, For Example

Calvin’s bedroom door did not lock automatically last night. Nothing bad happened, but it could have. Around 2 a.m. this morning, he hit the jackpot after checking if his door was unlocked, and played on his computer in his living room for a couple hours, then went back to bed.

• I feel frustrated that the technology didn’t work.
• I feel embarrassed that technology which I setup stopped working after I assured my wife and others that it would.
• I feel scared that something can and could have happened.
• I feel hopeless that the technology was not, nor ever can be reliable.

But this technology is not about me nor my bruised ego. Nemesism¹ is the fuel that powers the engine of innovation. The stakes feel much higher as I think about other special needs situations which are much more perilous than Calvin’s.

So tonight after work, I’m addressing this in two ways:

• If Calvin’s door is not locked after 9 p.m., I’ll send myself an alert.
• Between 9 p.m. and midnight, I’ll change the color of my office light to red if the door is locked, and green if the door is unlocked. This way I’ll know before I go to bed.

While Calvin has severe autism, I’m thankful that he’s not dangerous to himself, which gives me the ability to keep working on this technology to benefit those that are, without putting him at serious risk.

1. Frustration and aggression directed against oneself.